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Handyman

A jazz-hands inspired burn.

(submitted by Nick)

Awkward Family Story: The IM

My son, Devon (he is 9) and I were Instant messaging each other, as he is across the state visting my parents. Here is the conversation we had…

BeyondFabulous1: HEY BABY

“Devon”: I miss you and a chicken got chased by a dog

BeyondFabulous1: I miss you too. Is the chicken ok?

“Devon”: it was aroster he lost almost lost is tail feathers

BeyondFabulous1: ohh no. where did the dog come from?

“Devon”: me and jasmine were walking on the trail this black dog came

BeyondFabulous1: ohh ok. did it go away now?

“Devon”: it hapened yesterday night

BeyondFabulous1: so the rooster is going to be ok?

“Devon”: I thing so

BeyondFabulous1: you thing so?

BeyondFabulous1: lol

BeyondFabulous1: what did you do today?

“Devon”: I just was working on my fort then I played my psp

BeyondFabulous1: ok. Well we are thinking we will leave next Thursday after your dad gets off work… so we will be there really late

“Devon”: I left something in the dog chsing story

BeyondFabulous1: what?

“Devon”: dog got hit by a shotguns dinner time

BeyondFabulous1: are you having the dog for dinner?

……………………..And then he was gone. Awkward.

(Submitted by Brandi)

Beautiful Mind

Ever wondered what the kid with the clarinet is really thinking?

(submitted by Scott)

In A Pinch

A classic case of being pinch-drunk.

(submitted by Nesrine)

Meet The Sterns

No matter what you do, you will always be in trouble with these two.

(submitted by Eiler)

Strawbreros

Who doesn’t look at home with a straw nest on their head?

(submitted by Julie)

The Third Wheel

You’ve just been asked to prom… by another couple.

(submitted by Chrissy)

3rd Happiest Place on Earth

Wanna hear a story, little… No? Okay.

(submitted by Justin)

Awkward Family Story: Big in Texas

My mother was a beautiful woman but of low self image. To compensate for this, she liked to wear revealing clothing. We still tell stories of the backless “Victoria Secret” dress my mother would wear to pick us up at school. Still knowing all of this, I invited my future husband (then boyfriend) to meet my mother. I tried to build her up for him, saying she was tall and good looking… so we walk up to her door and ring the door bell. The entrance is a good 6 inches higher then the entrance step. My mother throws opens the door and is wearing nothing but a string bikini made out of the Texas Flag, star on one DD size boob, red and blue strip on the other exactly at my husbands eye level… Awkward.

(submitted by Kyra)

What About Grandma?

These kids with their fancy kneeshelfs.

(submitted by Mike)